100ways2smile —-49

The 49th smile on the 100ways2smile SMILE PROJECT. Just a step away from midpoint.  . It’s been continuous learning and expression for me and I’m glad I’ve come this far. Thanks to all who have inspired and help make things better. Would start naming names soon. 
Had an encounter yesterday and it just made me realize the power of words the more. It’s just what is said and how it is said but also how it is perceived. I can’t forget the words of a senior friend from years back as he said to me “What you say is as important as how you say it”. You can imagine having a beautiful conversation or argument with someone and the other party makes a statement that just breaks the flow. It’s just like when music suddenly stops playing a few seconds into your best part of a song.

Was with Dajuma recently and he spoke of how his close friend Bridgette really hurt him. They’ve been friends for over 4 years now and they shared details of happenings in their life with each other. They would talk about their numerous attractions, hurts and even sweet nothing thoughts in their fantasy world. They enjoyed a mutual therapeutic friendship with untangled strings attached. Lol! I like the sound of ‘untangled strings attached’. That’s the word I think best describes the situation where a guy and a lady share friendship where they see emotional strings sparking but one or both parties refuses to allow entanglement for reasons best know to them. Some people will call them time waster or one with commitment phobia. Well, Dajuma didn’t see himself as such and Bridgette wasn’t complaining. Hmmmmmm!!! A friend of mine believes it is not possible for two adults of opposite sex to be truly close without one’s emotions getting in the way at some point. Maybe, maybe not.

Whatever, Dajuma and Bridgette seemed to enjoy the arrangement until they had a heated conversation one day and Bridgette in a bid to stay on top of the argument irrationally brought up an old personal issue Dajuma told her about to spite him. The words just burst forth from her mouth and immediately it did, she knew she missed it but like a Yoruba proverb says “Words are like eggs, once they drop, they can’t be withdrawn. That conversation marked the end of their years of friendship and being confidants to each other. Though Bridgette apologized but they never really got back to the old glory of their relationship. The true smiles were replaced with casual ones and just casual surface gist. It’s amazing how words could bring down high-flying relations and leave scars to nurse for a life time if allowed.

I took a couple of significant lessons away from our conversation which are:
to be careful with words, be mindful of how your words can either make the day bright and beautiful for another even in the darkest of hours, be mindful that your words can literally break another down even from his/her highest moments.
Use your words wisely to lift and put a smile on the face of another
THE RIGHT WORD AT THE RIGHT TIME IS LIKE A CUSTOM MADE PIECE OF JEWELRY

Solving problems, babies, hanging out with friends,
going to the movies, Chinese foods and ‘akpos jokes’
makes me smile -Yevu Otojarer