100ways2smile —- 51

So we are back on 100ways2smile. The sabbatical leave-AWOL ( absence without leave) had to come to an end!. On to the 51st smile on the SMILE PROJECT. I want to appreciate everyone who has followed the journey silently only to see me and ask ‘what happened to the smile project’, Long live your kingdom! Perhaps if you had commented earlier, it would have added more spice and helped move our journey a little faster (smiles). Thanks all the same.
Got an opportunity to be the host on a radio program titled WHISPERS IN THE DARK which is aired between 1am – 3am Thursday mornings. I get to pick various topics to discuss on the show, and it has been amazing how I’ve had numerous people call in to share experiences on different episodes in those wee hours!. We discussed THE EYES WIDE SHUT syndrome on an episode and it was about how we see signs of evil ahead still choose to head straight for such evils while ironically “shutting” our opened eyes to the eminent disaster ahead. It was pretty interesting how we had calls pouring in with people sharing their EYES WIDE SHUT situations.
One of such that caught my attention was a call from Pharia (not her original name), a lady who hails from a state in the middle belt area of Nigeria who met a guy called Jafar a few years back. Their meeting was like such you see in movies only that theirs was not in a supermarket but right in the centre of a market square. You know the frequently used movie scene, guy bumps into girl, girl’s stuff falls and is scattered all over, he acts like the gentle man and starts to pick them up for her and then suddenly looks into her eyes as he picks the last piece of her stuff (in most cases, books) in slow motion with an amazement from being beauty struck. Hmmmm!!! Well, hold your imagination right there!, na tomatoes and tatashe (pepper) fall from Pharia hand. To cut the long story short, the market square encounter marked the beginning of a journey into a period of friendship and love. They got pretty into each other so much so that they became each other’s habit. As the days, months and years went by, it brought more intimacy to their relationship and everyone around knew them together but as life happens sometimes and people do slip up, the young man heard temptation announce itself ahead of arrival and still went walking towards it with ‘EYES WIDE SHUT’. He saw it but he played blind. Some lady who lets say goes by the name Keierra, a casual friend of his, one day looked straight into his eyes and said “Someday soon I know I would have the pleasure of lying with you in bed”. She said it in subtlety wrapped with calm confidence and her words set into motion, snares that would set the slippery floor for him. From flirty text messages, to bbm chats and uncalled for secret hanging out, it eventually yielded a fruit in that Keierra got pregnant for him. Guess what? She happened to be the daughter of his dad’s close friend so the parents were quick to bring up the option of marriage so as to save them from the public embarrassment.
As you would imagine, Pharia literally felt betrayed and let down, she wished she could wake up and realise she had been sleeping and it was just a dream but Alas! Such was not the case- this was reality!. She felt like a wasted investment whose worth would be difficult to put together again. Some say time will heal but I GUESS IT’S WHAT WE DO WITH TIME THAT DETERMINES IF IT WOULD HEAL OR HURT US MORE. Well, the first two years after Jafar got married and moved out of the state was like frozen years for her but time indeed began heal her as she gradually laid aside the victim mentality to put herself together again (isn’t it interesting how sometimes heartbreaks gives an opportunity for one to find one’s true self back?).Plus a charming guy found her on her way to finding herself and he sure helped her esteem and finding her feet. Hmmmmm!!! But just as she was finding life back, Jafar came in to town on a work project. He planned to sneak in and out of town for 2weeks unnoticed but things didn’t work out as he planned. He was at a supermarket to buy things he would need on site like toiletries, fruits and snacks when the tweaking sound of a nearby shopper’s trolley caught his attention only for him to look back and see Pharia pushing a trolley behind him with her head faced down to the trolley as if making sure her shopping list has been well ticked. His heart skipped beats in double bars and he wondered if he should just pretend like he had not seen her. What if she notices me on the queue? He thought. He managed to damn the consequences of the trail of thoughts on his mind and called out her name Pharia! While managing to fake a sincere smile to cover up the guilt lying underneath. She lifts up her head in response to this sweet old familiar voice of pleasant memories and the destruction of it. Alas! It was Jafar! Seeing him in the flesh suddenly began to unlock the feelings long buried deep within her. She never realised this until she got home after they chatted for a short while. She had collected his number and even called him later that night just to vent the hurts she had carried for years. The intention was just to vent but she lost a hold on the chord of boundaries she thought were or planned to place somewhere in between and allowed her emotions to get a hold of her. In a flash, she began to nurse that feeling of “got to have you back” even though he was married with kids. The pleasure of the new charming guy “that loved her back to life” started becoming insignificant plus she kept the episode of seeing Jafar a secret from him. Like they say “sin thrives in secrecy”. With her EYES WIDE SHUT, she found herself slip into the lust of an old emotional stronghold. In a space of one week, she began tilting towards the corridor of an affair. The new charming guy on the other hand noticed changes in her; suddenly getting touchy and picking faults on insignificant things, being moody amongst others.
He was patient enough to probe deeper and seek what was the matter with her and like a true friend in spite of being slightly Jealous; he made her comfortable to the extent that she could confide in him. In talking, she gradually realized she had plunged into ‘chasing mere shadows’ to restore what was between her and Jafar years back. Only then did she come to her senses, realizing how in a stupid way, she was going to allow her past ruin the progress she’d made so far and duly retraced her steps.
DON’T LET YOUR PAST ROB YOU OF YOUR SMILE TODAY AND TOMORROW. PRESERVE YOUR SMILE

Please feel free to share and comment or join me on whispers in the dark every Thursday at 1 am – 3 am on Eko 89.7 fm or send a mail to whispersinthedark01@yahoo.com or follow me on twitter @michaeladebiyin

Life itself makes me smile;
The beauty in the simplest things like
The strokes that makes a piece of artwork
finally come to life;
The masterpiece we live in filled with stories
and amazing creatures;
The irony of events and the vastness of my
imagination when i read or write stories;
The way the whole world is woven, simple yet
complex; My family, my family, my friends and
the word of God makes me smile. -Shalewa Ashimi